Wednesday, May 21, 2014

Forgive vs Forget

I often hear the phrase "forgive and forget" now this phrase never fully made sense to me because I don’t think the two are mutually inclusive and here's why.  To forgive someone, quite a difficult task in itself does not mean you have to forget the incident that’s happened requiring your forgiveness.  Now you may ask, how then, would one go about forgiving someone if you don’t forget about the incident that occurred?  Well now that’s all up to you, but to be able to forgive someone, in my opinion, means to try to understand the other person’s views and reasons for their behavior, despite whether or not you agree.  

Now if you choose to forgive this person it doesn't that mean you have to forget the occurrence of the incident all together.  I think every incident can teach us a lesson, may it be, what your tolerance for certain behaviors are or what kind of mistakes we are capable of, etc.  To try to forget the occurrence all together just means you haven’t taken anything away from the incident or learned your lesson, which could mean there is a likeliness for it to happen again. 

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Day 8 - Butterflies

I know a lot of people love and hate the start of a relationship. Love the memory but hate the process. The beginning is exciting, it's when you're just getting to know someone, you want to find out everything and anything about them, you want to know every detail and hang on to every word but I say memory because this often only applies in retrospect. I say hate the process because during, people tend to find it agonizing. You miss the other person all the time; love it when they call or text, can't stop smiling when your talking to them but hate the times you spend wondering if and when they'll call. You get all nervous and anxious simultaneously when you know you're gonna see him/her, but once that butterfly stage passes all you remember is how exciting all that was. You begin to miss getting the butterflies in you stomach just thinking about them, and start to think all that excitement is gone. Some people jump from one relationship to another because they only enjoy this stage and are constantly chasing butterflies, but if you find someone who you want to be with even after this stage this is when a relationship truly begins. Everyone puts their best foot forward in the beginning, but when you get pass that and really get to know someone, including both their good and bad qualities, you need to learn to accept and compromise. The acceptance and compromises are what really builds up a foundation to your relationship. Its a beginning of knowing someone well enough to be able to finish each others sentences or knowing what the other person's thinking without words.

So next time you find yourself staring at the phone, waiting for that call/text, stressing over if and when you'll see him/her, just chill out and enjoy the fun of it all. Then when you find yourself thinking it's no longer exciting and sad about how you're no longer getting those butterflies in your stomach, think about how much more there is to look forward to.